The following are personal reflections as a married man about what the "wedding" means. Many people have different theories about "wedding", some good and others not so good. Many see wedding as just a day to waste cash in order to entertain oneself, friends and family. But I beg to differ. For me, it is the first day into the night of your marriage. For me wedding is not different from marriage, it is rather a part of it.
This distinctions between wedding and marriage comes from the Western and Eastern (apart from nations referred to as Western - Africa, Asia, etc.) views of marriage where particularly from the East, wedding is seen as foreign or alien. For example, many cultures outside the West call marriage the "Engagement" (because engagements are equated to marriage due to its seriousness), or what has now been accepted as "traditional marriage".
Generally the "traditional marriage" is where customary rites are performed in the presence of both families (i.e. the bride's and groom's) and the woman officially becomes the wife of the man, whilst the "wedding" is where that marriage is brought to the church for "blessing". What makes marriage "blessing" different from "wedding" is the fact that for "blessing", the couple would have lived together (although legally) before coming to church to be blessed as a couple (this is more of a Ghanaian concept).
Today many Christian denominations and churches embrace the concept of "wedding" which is a Western idea of marriage (that is if you are not from the West) as most dignified (perhaps with the exception of some orthodox churches like the Catholic) .
As a Christian, I embrace the concept of "wedding" and all the significance it comes with it. For example, the concept of a white gown and veil tells of purity of the woman (although discriminatory, as its towards only females, i believe this concept is correct). This is why i will look at three (3) fundamental reasons wedding is a part of marriage and for that matter the first day ushering into the first night of your marriage if you take to "wedding" before living together.
1. "Wedding" or even "traditional marriage" as some would prefer to call it challenges you to see your married life (and life in general) in seasons especially when you are faced with difficulties that threaten to break you down. The first day or few days of your marriage are always going to be filled with smiles, laughter, joy and splendor. They (those moments of your first day) will always remind you of how your journey of marriage all started.
The "wedding" moments with its accompanying gifts and memorable pictures make you appreciate where you have come from when your marriage begin to face some struggles. In the midst of your struggles you have to say to yourself, this season too shall pass away. People say "seasons don't last forever" but the beautiful memories you create on your wedding day can and will help you overcome your challenges whenever you look back to them. They could become the very seasons in your life that last forever. Always see life in seasons!
2. Your "wedding" will always remind you how ultimately marriage from God's point of view should be. It is also a reflection of how we want a satisfying marriage to look like, although that cannot be the case all the time, you can always work from that point of view. Those moments of you both working together to get the right photographer, a good catering service, venue etc; the moments you work individually but also trusting the others judgement and taste; the time of prayer together and the willingness to see the good in your partner and ultimately see him or her in the light of how God see him/her will all remind you the more, what God expects from your marriage when at some point there are challenges in communication and cooperation.
Ultimately, God desires for us to be healthy and joyful in our marriages and you will not need to look far to see that on your wedding day. your marriage should be a reflection of how Christ treats his Church.Your marriage anniversaries will or are mostly on the day you got married, which is preferably on your wedding, a day in your marriage you consider glorious and memorable if not the most memorable.
Clearly, those times of certainty, joy, smiles, laughter, a sense of favour and pride can be said to be how God wants us to see our marriages and not the days of tears, pain and anguish. I am not saying that days of pain, anguish and tears are not a part of marriage and one not to be expected but rather I am saying that God uses even those moments in our marriage to make us better. Marriage in a pictorial form, it is said, is the coming together of two rough stone alongside each other. The more they move along (even with their rough edges, the more smoother they become. This smoothening of each other's rough edges leads to what ultimately God wants our marriage to be, one that is fulfilling.
3. The last but not the least is that God provided/will provide for your wedding and that is a sign that He will always provide for your every need even when things toughen up. Like in the wedding at Cana in John 2, God is interested in our wedding and ultimately our marriage life. Many people while preparing for their wedding have recorded miraculous interventions from God with testimonies of how God provided when they needed, and mine was not different. From pride price to wedding rings, from wedding dresses to food God used people to help us in our moment of need. Because of that, I am always reminded of the faithfulness of God, even in difficult times.
You just have to trust Him! If He provided for you on your wedding day, He is able to provide for you today. At the moment when you thought that you were going to be put to shame, God stepped in and provided. People and friends we blessed by your marriage but you can only say that "if it had not been for God". Your "wedding" therefore becomes a challenge to you everyday, that God has not finished with you yet, He will still provide.
CONCLUSION
You might have done a lot or put a lot in place before your wedding day, but those moments and days cannot be considered a part of your marriage no matter how close and exciting they were. If you see marriage as a journey, then your wedding is/was your first step into your married life. For "a journey of a thousand miles begin with a step", and that is/was your wedding.